Really, I don't deserve it?
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Glumi
I have a girlfriend I like so much. She is kinda naive. Why? because she wears her heart outside her body. Well, actually she puts it in the middle of the street, the street is just few feet away from my door, my door is made from transparent glass. I can see her honesty and kindness, but seriously, putting your heart outside is just stupid. It makes your heart (her heart) vulnerable. Now, her heart is broken, hard to be healed because it is constantly exposed to the pollution in the air not to mention the rain, the sun, and God knows what bugs flying out there and I HAVE to witness it every single day. She can say, "stop looking at it and move on." But NO, I can't. Why? Because I care. Damn it. I do care about your heart. In fact, probably that was why I made stupid door from glass, so I can see your heart.
She has a blog, a very nice one. She said it was her coping mechanism. OK. Coping is good. Every single day, before I do my job, I open her blog with my eyes closed. Before I open my eyes, I always think, "please, be happy. Please, be happy." I really want her to find a man that loves her more than anything and just be happy. The sight of her broken heart is torturing me.
Oh, my Dear Friend, is there anything I can do for you? I know my words are not gonna cut it. I need to do something, right? please, tell me...
Dya
I have a girlfriend I like so much. She is kinda naive. Why? because she wears her heart outside her body. Well, actually she puts it in the middle of the street, the street is just few feet away from my door, my door is made from transparent glass. I can see her honesty and kindness, but seriously, putting your heart outside is just stupid. It makes your heart (her heart) vulnerable. Now, her heart is broken, hard to be healed because it is constantly exposed to the pollution in the air not to mention the rain, the sun, and God knows what bugs flying out there and I HAVE to witness it every single day. She can say, "stop looking at it and move on." But NO, I can't. Why? Because I care. Damn it. I do care about your heart. In fact, probably that was why I made stupid door from glass, so I can see your heart.
She has a blog, a very nice one. She said it was her coping mechanism. OK. Coping is good. Every single day, before I do my job, I open her blog with my eyes closed. Before I open my eyes, I always think, "please, be happy. Please, be happy." I really want her to find a man that loves her more than anything and just be happy. The sight of her broken heart is torturing me.
Oh, my Dear Friend, is there anything I can do for you? I know my words are not gonna cut it. I need to do something, right? please, tell me...
Dya
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Morning
Yes.
What?
Heh heh. Yes, I have disorders. A lot of disorders and when I thought I already got rid of one, another one appeared. Sometimes I wonder why I become this odd.
#1
Nail Biting and Picking
I know that most kids did this, biting and picking their nails, but it is not supposed to tag along until adulthood. I stopped with the biting because my fingers smelled like slobber and I did (do) not like it, but it is not the case with nail picking. I don't even realize what I did until after I put my right hand on my desk and see dry blood everywhere. People said it has something to do with anxiety, but I don't feel anxious at all. Or maybe I am delusional? and my delusion is that I don't feel anxious. How confusing is that?
#2
Obsessed with Whole Bunch of Things
#3
I Dream About Having Food Farm At Least Once in A Day
Not carrots, not cabbage, not corn. Food. Like spaghetti farm, sandwich invested tree, rivers of coffee, ICED lemon tea, ICED milk tea. Is this kind of imagination normal? I never asked and I never googled it either and I don't have the gut to ask my psychologist cause probably it will prolong my treatment. heh heh heh.
Till next disorders, Fellas
Dy
Yes.
What?
Heh heh. Yes, I have disorders. A lot of disorders and when I thought I already got rid of one, another one appeared. Sometimes I wonder why I become this odd.
#1
Nail Biting and Picking
I know that most kids did this, biting and picking their nails, but it is not supposed to tag along until adulthood. I stopped with the biting because my fingers smelled like slobber and I did (do) not like it, but it is not the case with nail picking. I don't even realize what I did until after I put my right hand on my desk and see dry blood everywhere. People said it has something to do with anxiety, but I don't feel anxious at all. Or maybe I am delusional? and my delusion is that I don't feel anxious. How confusing is that?
#2
Obsessed with Whole Bunch of Things
- This happens when I have to work in front of my laptop. There is no way, NO WAY I can finish anything without watching Lord of the Rings or Red Cliff or Bones (marathon from season 1) or Dexter (also marathon) or Greys Anatomy or other movies and tv series. So, I always have two windows opened on my laptop, one is Microsoft Office Word and the other one is media player. When I face the iBT writing section, I was just staring at the monitor, blank stare of course. This is insane.
- I am obsessed with anything that counts like download progress, defragmenting process, anything that stacks into something. I HAVE to watch it moves. So, yes if I'm working on something with my Microsoft Office Words while downloading something else, then I would have three windows opened at the same time; the Words, media player, and the download progress window. None of them is in minimize.
- This one is not a 'thing'. I was obsessed with someone (X). I basically stalked X for two consecutive years. I dug up like thousands information about X and followed X around. I called it 'in love', but my friends categorized it as 'crazy'.
#3
I Dream About Having Food Farm At Least Once in A Day
Not carrots, not cabbage, not corn. Food. Like spaghetti farm, sandwich invested tree, rivers of coffee, ICED lemon tea, ICED milk tea. Is this kind of imagination normal? I never asked and I never googled it either and I don't have the gut to ask my psychologist cause probably it will prolong my treatment. heh heh heh.
Till next disorders, Fellas
Dy
Monday, 19 November 2012
#1
AC dan Selimut
Kalau kita lihat di rumah-rumah orang kaya (bukan saya sentimen sama orang kaya, lho), kamar luas AC 70pk (heh heh), bed pake KingKoil, bantal guling pake swan feathers, dan selimut yang lebih tebal daripada martabak manis lipet sepuluh. Terus tiap hari orang-orang itu menghidupkan AC dan tidur berselimut. Menurut saya, itu hal yang aneh karena pake AC dan pake selimut adalah hal yang saling meniadakan. Kalau panas, ya AC dihidupin gak usah pake selimut. Kalau dingin, selimut dipake, AC dimatiin. But, nooooooo...those people HAVE to use both. Why is that?
#2
Budaya Basa-Basi
Sebenernya siapa, si yang menciptakan budaya basa-basi? bikin rempong. Ditawarin makan harus 2-3 kali...yang nawarin gak bosen-bosen, yang ditawarin sok malu-malu kucing. Buat apa coba? Tawarin makan orang sekali aja, kalo dia gak mau, ya sudah...derita dia. Ditawarin makan juga gak perlu malu bilang 'iya', kan? Tidak lapar, bilang 'tidak' secara konsisten. Jangan dibujuk lama-lama mau, itu namanya labil (hahahahah). Kalau lapar, hajarrrrr! Terus siapa yang suruh kalau mau makan nawarin juga ke sebelah-sebelahnya? Berapa persen dari orang-orang yang nawarin itu bener-bener bermaksud berbagi? I bet gak sampe separuhnya. Jadi, kalau ada orang yang liat saya makan dan saya gak nawarin, means memang saya tidak berniat berbagi (parah, yak saya ini).
#3
Minta Maaf Kalau Membayar dengan Uang Receh
Tau kan uang receh? koin itu, lho yang krincing-krincing. Orang hampir selalu tanya, "saya bayar pake receh gak apa-apa, ya?" atau bilang, "maaf kembaliannya receh." Lah emangnya kenapa, si kalau receh? kan duit juga. Di luar negeri, bisa kacau kalau gak bawa receh. Vending machine itu pake receh (secara saya hidup dari vending machine. heheheh). Kemungkinan, (menurut saya, lho...kalau mau tau yang benernya, sila tanya para antropolog) uang receh itu dianggap rendah derajatnya karena sering dipake buat hal-hal yang sepele. Kalo ada orang meninggal, uang receh itu dibuang-buang di sepanjang jalan menuju ke kuburan atau ditaruh dalam lipatan sapu tangan, disebar di acara nikahan, buat kerokan (well, agak gilo juga, ya kalo terima uang bekas buat kerokan? terpikir akan panu, kadas, mmmmm), dan lain-lain yang kata ibu saya sepele kuthil. So, orang jadi merasa kurang 'hormat' jika memberikan uang receh ke orang lain sebagai alat pembayaran.
#4
Lagu "Nina Bobok" dan "Pok Ame-Ame"
Baru saja saya sadari ada yang tidak tepat dengan ending lagu "Nina Bobok"...kalau tidak bobok, digigit nyamuk. Dapet ilmu dari mana ini? Justru kalau tidur, nyamuk itu gampang banget gigit wong gak ada yang nampar. Plus itu lagu pengantar tidur kok malah ngancam "kalau gak tidur digigit nyamuk". Apa bedanya coba sama "kalau gak berhenti main pas maghrib, ntar ditangkep kuntilanak"? Parah. Lagu "Pok Ame-ame" juga tuh...siang makan nasi, kalau malam minum susu. Itu, si bapaknya, bukan anaknya. Ck...
Huh...sekian grundelan dari saya hari ini.
Chirp chirp,
Nidya
AC dan Selimut
Kalau kita lihat di rumah-rumah orang kaya (bukan saya sentimen sama orang kaya, lho), kamar luas AC 70pk (heh heh), bed pake KingKoil, bantal guling pake swan feathers, dan selimut yang lebih tebal daripada martabak manis lipet sepuluh. Terus tiap hari orang-orang itu menghidupkan AC dan tidur berselimut. Menurut saya, itu hal yang aneh karena pake AC dan pake selimut adalah hal yang saling meniadakan. Kalau panas, ya AC dihidupin gak usah pake selimut. Kalau dingin, selimut dipake, AC dimatiin. But, nooooooo...those people HAVE to use both. Why is that?
#2
Budaya Basa-Basi
Sebenernya siapa, si yang menciptakan budaya basa-basi? bikin rempong. Ditawarin makan harus 2-3 kali...yang nawarin gak bosen-bosen, yang ditawarin sok malu-malu kucing. Buat apa coba? Tawarin makan orang sekali aja, kalo dia gak mau, ya sudah...derita dia. Ditawarin makan juga gak perlu malu bilang 'iya', kan? Tidak lapar, bilang 'tidak' secara konsisten. Jangan dibujuk lama-lama mau, itu namanya labil (hahahahah). Kalau lapar, hajarrrrr! Terus siapa yang suruh kalau mau makan nawarin juga ke sebelah-sebelahnya? Berapa persen dari orang-orang yang nawarin itu bener-bener bermaksud berbagi? I bet gak sampe separuhnya. Jadi, kalau ada orang yang liat saya makan dan saya gak nawarin, means memang saya tidak berniat berbagi (parah, yak saya ini).
#3
Minta Maaf Kalau Membayar dengan Uang Receh
Tau kan uang receh? koin itu, lho yang krincing-krincing. Orang hampir selalu tanya, "saya bayar pake receh gak apa-apa, ya?" atau bilang, "maaf kembaliannya receh." Lah emangnya kenapa, si kalau receh? kan duit juga. Di luar negeri, bisa kacau kalau gak bawa receh. Vending machine itu pake receh (secara saya hidup dari vending machine. heheheh). Kemungkinan, (menurut saya, lho...kalau mau tau yang benernya, sila tanya para antropolog) uang receh itu dianggap rendah derajatnya karena sering dipake buat hal-hal yang sepele. Kalo ada orang meninggal, uang receh itu dibuang-buang di sepanjang jalan menuju ke kuburan atau ditaruh dalam lipatan sapu tangan, disebar di acara nikahan, buat kerokan (well, agak gilo juga, ya kalo terima uang bekas buat kerokan? terpikir akan panu, kadas, mmmmm), dan lain-lain yang kata ibu saya sepele kuthil. So, orang jadi merasa kurang 'hormat' jika memberikan uang receh ke orang lain sebagai alat pembayaran.
#4
Lagu "Nina Bobok" dan "Pok Ame-Ame"
Baru saja saya sadari ada yang tidak tepat dengan ending lagu "Nina Bobok"...kalau tidak bobok, digigit nyamuk. Dapet ilmu dari mana ini? Justru kalau tidur, nyamuk itu gampang banget gigit wong gak ada yang nampar. Plus itu lagu pengantar tidur kok malah ngancam "kalau gak tidur digigit nyamuk". Apa bedanya coba sama "kalau gak berhenti main pas maghrib, ntar ditangkep kuntilanak"? Parah. Lagu "Pok Ame-ame" juga tuh...siang makan nasi, kalau malam minum susu. Itu, si bapaknya, bukan anaknya. Ck...
Huh...sekian grundelan dari saya hari ini.
Chirp chirp,
Nidya
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Afternoon, People!
This is my third draft today. Amazing.
So...hutang budi.
Pasti pernah, kan ditolong oleh orang lain dan tiba-tiba merasa wajib untuk membalas kebaikan orang itu dikemudian hari? Terkadang, jika saya berhadapan dengan orang tertentu, saya prefer menggunakan pendekatan jual-beli daripada 'kebaikan' hati karena hutang budi itu menjajah.
Sejak SMA, saya sudah berpikir tentang hal ini. Orang yang 'membantu' orang lain (dalam hal finansial terutama) cenderung jadi ngebos. Sok kuasa dan mau ikut campur segala urusan. Misal, nih ya...si A memberi portable CD player ke si B karena kebetulan milik si B rusak dan dia tidak mampu membeli lagi. Tiaaaaaappp kali si B pake CD player itu, si A selalu komentar "harusnya makenya gak gitu", "jangan ditempelin stiker, dong. Norak tau", "eh, jangan digantung, ntar rusak". Nah, kan.itu barang udah dikasihin, peduli setan si B mau ngapain dengan player itu.
Apalagi kecenderungan yang saya lihat? Ohhhh, saat si A membantu si B bayar sekolah atau bayar kuliah atau apa gitu yang penting-penting dan mepet, gak jarang orang itu ngembeeeerrr, ngewer kemana-mana bahwa dia itu yang nolongin si B sekolah. Ataauuu ada yang lebih aneh bin ajaib. Si A itu bilang ke si B, "udah lupain aja, gak usah disebut-sebut", tapi di balik itu, si A cerita ke semua orang, SEMUA ORANG yang ada di deket si B bahwa dia bantu bayar kuliah dan ditambahin, "jangan bilang siapa-siapa, ya?" Aneh, gak itu? pesen gak boleh cerita siapa-siapa, tapi dia sendiri jadi koran nasional. Ini bikin si B tertekan secara sosial untuk selalu bersikap baik dan menurut kepada si A di depan khalayak ramai jika tidak ingin dicap 'tidak tahu terima kasih'.
Bentuk penjajahan ketiga bernama "balas budi". Binatang balas budi ini bisa macem-macem bentuknya. Bisa dengan balik membantu orang itu saat kesusahan atau "diam seribu bahasa" walaupun darah sudah mendidih. Misal kita sudah dibantu oleh si A, berarti besok saat si A butuh bantuan, kita WAJIB membantu dia walaupun kita malas, sibuk, atau setengah hidup. Herrraaannn bukan main. Apa enaknya terima bantuan dari orang yang gak ikhlas? Jenis balas budi kedua adalah satu yang sangat saya benci. Hutang budi kadang (sering) membuat saya tidak bisa mengungkapkan pendapat dengan bebas. Saya sangat sebal dengan perasaan tertekan yang saya rasakan saat saya ingin membantah, marah, dan berargumen, tetapi berhubung berhadapan dengan orang yang pernah 'menunjukkan kebaikan hati' kepada saya, terpaksa semua omelan, cacian, dan kemarahan saya pendam. Ibu saya sering menegur, "sudahlahhh, gak usah dibantah. Dia tu baik lho sama kita. Masa kita mau ngeyel? gak sopan." Hemmmppphhh...kalau sudah dengar komentar seperti itu, dongkol rasanya hati ini.
Saya mengakui bahwa proses penjajahan ini bisa terus terjadi karena andil dari dua belah pihak. Penjajah dan yang dijajah. Mbok, ya orang-orang dermawan di dunia ini jangan suka ngebos, menitahkan perintah yang tidak boleh ditolak, dan me'ngewer'kan kebaikannya. Bisa ilang tu pahala kalau Anda tidak tulus. Bagi para penerima kebaikan budi (seperti saya), ayo berhenti hidup dalam penjajahan. Tegur kalau memang layak untuk ditegur, katakan apa yang perlu dikatakan.
Chirp chirp,
Nidya
This is my third draft today. Amazing.
So...hutang budi.
Pasti pernah, kan ditolong oleh orang lain dan tiba-tiba merasa wajib untuk membalas kebaikan orang itu dikemudian hari? Terkadang, jika saya berhadapan dengan orang tertentu, saya prefer menggunakan pendekatan jual-beli daripada 'kebaikan' hati karena hutang budi itu menjajah.
Sejak SMA, saya sudah berpikir tentang hal ini. Orang yang 'membantu' orang lain (dalam hal finansial terutama) cenderung jadi ngebos. Sok kuasa dan mau ikut campur segala urusan. Misal, nih ya...si A memberi portable CD player ke si B karena kebetulan milik si B rusak dan dia tidak mampu membeli lagi. Tiaaaaaappp kali si B pake CD player itu, si A selalu komentar "harusnya makenya gak gitu", "jangan ditempelin stiker, dong. Norak tau", "eh, jangan digantung, ntar rusak". Nah, kan.itu barang udah dikasihin, peduli setan si B mau ngapain dengan player itu.
Apalagi kecenderungan yang saya lihat? Ohhhh, saat si A membantu si B bayar sekolah atau bayar kuliah atau apa gitu yang penting-penting dan mepet, gak jarang orang itu ngembeeeerrr, ngewer kemana-mana bahwa dia itu yang nolongin si B sekolah. Ataauuu ada yang lebih aneh bin ajaib. Si A itu bilang ke si B, "udah lupain aja, gak usah disebut-sebut", tapi di balik itu, si A cerita ke semua orang, SEMUA ORANG yang ada di deket si B bahwa dia bantu bayar kuliah dan ditambahin, "jangan bilang siapa-siapa, ya?" Aneh, gak itu? pesen gak boleh cerita siapa-siapa, tapi dia sendiri jadi koran nasional. Ini bikin si B tertekan secara sosial untuk selalu bersikap baik dan menurut kepada si A di depan khalayak ramai jika tidak ingin dicap 'tidak tahu terima kasih'.
Bentuk penjajahan ketiga bernama "balas budi". Binatang balas budi ini bisa macem-macem bentuknya. Bisa dengan balik membantu orang itu saat kesusahan atau "diam seribu bahasa" walaupun darah sudah mendidih. Misal kita sudah dibantu oleh si A, berarti besok saat si A butuh bantuan, kita WAJIB membantu dia walaupun kita malas, sibuk, atau setengah hidup. Herrraaannn bukan main. Apa enaknya terima bantuan dari orang yang gak ikhlas? Jenis balas budi kedua adalah satu yang sangat saya benci. Hutang budi kadang (sering) membuat saya tidak bisa mengungkapkan pendapat dengan bebas. Saya sangat sebal dengan perasaan tertekan yang saya rasakan saat saya ingin membantah, marah, dan berargumen, tetapi berhubung berhadapan dengan orang yang pernah 'menunjukkan kebaikan hati' kepada saya, terpaksa semua omelan, cacian, dan kemarahan saya pendam. Ibu saya sering menegur, "sudahlahhh, gak usah dibantah. Dia tu baik lho sama kita. Masa kita mau ngeyel? gak sopan." Hemmmppphhh...kalau sudah dengar komentar seperti itu, dongkol rasanya hati ini.
Saya mengakui bahwa proses penjajahan ini bisa terus terjadi karena andil dari dua belah pihak. Penjajah dan yang dijajah. Mbok, ya orang-orang dermawan di dunia ini jangan suka ngebos, menitahkan perintah yang tidak boleh ditolak, dan me'ngewer'kan kebaikannya. Bisa ilang tu pahala kalau Anda tidak tulus. Bagi para penerima kebaikan budi (seperti saya), ayo berhenti hidup dalam penjajahan. Tegur kalau memang layak untuk ditegur, katakan apa yang perlu dikatakan.
Chirp chirp,
Nidya
Morning
Pernahkah Anda memeriksa traffic source di blogger dashbord? Saya baru mulai melakukannya kemarin. Ada beberapa traffic source yang familiar bagi saya, seperti thisisswistien, google, facebook, dll, tetapi saya juga menemukan URL yang aneh-aneh dan dengan naif-nya saya mengklik salah satu URL tersebut dan langsung terjun ke sebuah website dengan konten pornografi. Ada beberapa jenis URL yang saya temukan, seperti goo.gl. ;bit.ly ; kallery.net (saya agak lupa namanya) dan setelah bertanya kesana kemari, ternyata itu yang disebut dengan referrer spam.
Apa dan ngapain si referrer spam itu?
Nah, berhubung sudah tahu istilahnya, akan lebih mudah cari tahu lebih banyak tentang referrer spam ini. Menurut saya, tampaknya spam semacam ini walapun mengganggu dan bikin penasaran, tidak berbahaya untuk blog kita. Don't click it, though! Bagi blogger yang tidak mempublikasikan stats nya, referrer spam tidak berpengaruh apa-apa, tetapi bagi yang menampilkan stats, maka pemilik blog akan secara tidak sengaja memberitakan tentang link-link spam tersebut. Pada akhirnya, ranking link spam dalam search engine akan naik due to the link-counting algorithms that most search engines use.
Kalau mau tau lebih jauh, sila di Google saja, ya...? heh heh.
Have a nice day
Pernahkah Anda memeriksa traffic source di blogger dashbord? Saya baru mulai melakukannya kemarin. Ada beberapa traffic source yang familiar bagi saya, seperti thisisswistien, google, facebook, dll, tetapi saya juga menemukan URL yang aneh-aneh dan dengan naif-nya saya mengklik salah satu URL tersebut dan langsung terjun ke sebuah website dengan konten pornografi. Ada beberapa jenis URL yang saya temukan, seperti goo.gl. ;bit.ly ; kallery.net (saya agak lupa namanya) dan setelah bertanya kesana kemari, ternyata itu yang disebut dengan referrer spam.
Apa dan ngapain si referrer spam itu?
Nah, berhubung sudah tahu istilahnya, akan lebih mudah cari tahu lebih banyak tentang referrer spam ini. Menurut saya, tampaknya spam semacam ini walapun mengganggu dan bikin penasaran, tidak berbahaya untuk blog kita. Don't click it, though! Bagi blogger yang tidak mempublikasikan stats nya, referrer spam tidak berpengaruh apa-apa, tetapi bagi yang menampilkan stats, maka pemilik blog akan secara tidak sengaja memberitakan tentang link-link spam tersebut. Pada akhirnya, ranking link spam dalam search engine akan naik due to the link-counting algorithms that most search engines use.
Kalau mau tau lebih jauh, sila di Google saja, ya...? heh heh.
Have a nice day
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Hai-hai
Setelah berkutat sekian lama dengan Facebook, saya merasa makin bingung dan mbingungi, tetapi ada satu hal yang sudah saya identifikasikan sejak lama; status teman-teman saya di Facebook. Tidak banyak kategori, kok...hanya tiga: bahagia, sedih, dan biasa saja. (Ini yang membuat saya jarang berkomentar)
Kategori "biasa saja" itu saat orang tertentu punya pola/ jenis status yang begitu-begitu saja.
Si A curhat tentang kerjaan tiap hari, si B ngamuk-ngamuk kepada dunia, si C cinta-cintaan mulu, si D cerita tentang kehidupan rumah tangga sehari-hari, si E suka yang religius, si F ngomongin politik, si G sukanya pamer kekayaan. Selama mereka masih mengikuti pola-pola tersebut, then menurut saya mereka berada dalam zona aman masing-masing. Lha wong mereka baik-baik saja, kok...buat apa dikomentari? Kalau ada pola yang berubah, misalnya teman yang biasanya ngomong tentang bunuh diri kok tiba-tiba diam, nah itu harus direspon (telat, ya?). Ck.
Kategori "bahagia". Nah, ini favorit saya. Paling senang kalau ada yang punya anak, nikah, dapat beasiswa, bisa publikasi, dll. Akan banyak yang memberi selamat kepada mereka dan entah kenapa, saya merasa satu ucapan dari saya tidak akan membuat perbedaan apapun. They are already happy on their own. Karya seorang peneliti dipublikasikan? ah..dia bisa berjalan dengan baju basah klebus tanpa menyadari kalau sedang hujan. So, saya memutuskan untuk tidak berkomentar karena berkomentar atau tidak, tak ada efeknya.
Kategori "sedih". Hummm...ini jelas, kan ya? patah hati, orang terdekat sakit atau meninggal, gak lulus, gak diterima kerja, so on. Saya jarang berkomentar terhadap status semacam ini karena saya bingung. Bingung mau berkata apa dan merasa bahwa kata-kata tidaklah cukup. Saya tahu bahwa kata-kata yang menenangkan bisa membantu orang lain mengatasi kesedihan, tapi itu tidak berlaku untuk saya. "I'm sorry to hear that", "saya ikut berduka cita", "my condolences"...saat saya sedang sedih, those words are useless, bullshit even. Apalagi jika kata-kata itu datang dari orang yang tidak mengenal saya. Setulus apapun kata-kata dan well wishes mereka, tetap terasa seperti omong kosong. Dalamnya kesedihan orang itu berbeda-beda dan saya merasa tidak ada kata-kata yang bisa menggambarkannya. Saat di FB, saya menerapkan standar ini kepada orang lain sehingga saya tidak berkomentar di status-status yang sedih, tapi saya selalu berdoa untuk mereka jika Tuhan mengijinkan.
Sekarang mendung,
Nidya
Setelah berkutat sekian lama dengan Facebook, saya merasa makin bingung dan mbingungi, tetapi ada satu hal yang sudah saya identifikasikan sejak lama; status teman-teman saya di Facebook. Tidak banyak kategori, kok...hanya tiga: bahagia, sedih, dan biasa saja. (Ini yang membuat saya jarang berkomentar)
Kategori "biasa saja" itu saat orang tertentu punya pola/ jenis status yang begitu-begitu saja.
Si A curhat tentang kerjaan tiap hari, si B ngamuk-ngamuk kepada dunia, si C cinta-cintaan mulu, si D cerita tentang kehidupan rumah tangga sehari-hari, si E suka yang religius, si F ngomongin politik, si G sukanya pamer kekayaan. Selama mereka masih mengikuti pola-pola tersebut, then menurut saya mereka berada dalam zona aman masing-masing. Lha wong mereka baik-baik saja, kok...buat apa dikomentari? Kalau ada pola yang berubah, misalnya teman yang biasanya ngomong tentang bunuh diri kok tiba-tiba diam, nah itu harus direspon (telat, ya?). Ck.
Kategori "bahagia". Nah, ini favorit saya. Paling senang kalau ada yang punya anak, nikah, dapat beasiswa, bisa publikasi, dll. Akan banyak yang memberi selamat kepada mereka dan entah kenapa, saya merasa satu ucapan dari saya tidak akan membuat perbedaan apapun. They are already happy on their own. Karya seorang peneliti dipublikasikan? ah..dia bisa berjalan dengan baju basah klebus tanpa menyadari kalau sedang hujan. So, saya memutuskan untuk tidak berkomentar karena berkomentar atau tidak, tak ada efeknya.
Kategori "sedih". Hummm...ini jelas, kan ya? patah hati, orang terdekat sakit atau meninggal, gak lulus, gak diterima kerja, so on. Saya jarang berkomentar terhadap status semacam ini karena saya bingung. Bingung mau berkata apa dan merasa bahwa kata-kata tidaklah cukup. Saya tahu bahwa kata-kata yang menenangkan bisa membantu orang lain mengatasi kesedihan, tapi itu tidak berlaku untuk saya. "I'm sorry to hear that", "saya ikut berduka cita", "my condolences"...saat saya sedang sedih, those words are useless, bullshit even. Apalagi jika kata-kata itu datang dari orang yang tidak mengenal saya. Setulus apapun kata-kata dan well wishes mereka, tetap terasa seperti omong kosong. Dalamnya kesedihan orang itu berbeda-beda dan saya merasa tidak ada kata-kata yang bisa menggambarkannya. Saat di FB, saya menerapkan standar ini kepada orang lain sehingga saya tidak berkomentar di status-status yang sedih, tapi saya selalu berdoa untuk mereka jika Tuhan mengijinkan.
Sekarang mendung,
Nidya
I am going to tell you about random stuff which might not correlate to each other.
#1. My English
I know that my English is not as good as it has to be for someone who aims to be a researcher. But, I am trying my best to learn through Facebook (chit chats with my fellow INFJs, friends from my previous college), webinars hold by scientific journals publishers, novels, books, etc. I really appreciate when someone told me about how bad my English was and helped me with sentence correction, idioms, and all...but, I really really hate it when someone said "your English sucks" and that was it. No support, no help, not even an encouragement. For the first, second, third, or fourth time, I felt fine and continued my English lesson. However, after some time, I just felt like "OK. Language, English in specific is not my thing. I'm just gonna give up." Now, in my FB account, I wrote that the only language I can understand is Indonesian. It seems my confidence is off for a very long vacation.
Furthermore, what is with people who grandstands in public, humiliates others by saying "your English is messed up"? No one, NO ONE has the right to do that to others. It was improper and rude. People deserve secrecy. Tell them through emails, private messages, Messenger or something. Even when I heard one hell of a messy use of language, I kept my mouth shut in public. Telling others about their weaknesses in front of the world is not the right thing to do. It will make them feel inferior and hide in a rabbit hole. I know I did and I have no intention to make others feel the way I felt.
#2. My Browser's History
Well well. I love movies and books and songs...usually, my browser would have history of IMDb, Rottentomatoes, Goodreads, blogger...but, this morning, I typed"b" and instead of showing "blogger", it said "bankdata.puskesmas"; "i" for "imdb" was replaced by "intra LI**", "m" for "mediat*****" became "mc.manuscriptcentral". What happened actually? Did I transform myself into an "education" maniac or something? freak out for some time, but when I went home, I saw my Ken Follett's were still on the top shelf accompanied by Stephen King, Jude Deveraux, James Patterson, some graphic novels, etc. So, no. I don't think I changed. My "looking-smart" browser history is just temporary.
#3. Another Thing About Language
Lately, I often met with little tiny kids who speak English very fluently. In the mall, in supermarket, playgrounds, etc. I am amazed by their ability, I really do and I admire their parents' efforts in teaching such a strange language. English is important, especially if we are talking about the international networks built using that particular language. But, I feel that there's something not quite right about this "tiny-human-speaks-English" phenomenon.
I feel my daughter is like a tree. I want her to grow with healthy long big branches stretch out everywhere and for that to happen, she needs a stable root. I want her to learn proper Javanese and Indonesian and I am thankful I have such the perfect nanny with perfect Javanese "Mboten pareng nggih", "ampun dimaem", "sanes dolanan", with songs like Gundul-gundul Pacul, Gambuh, Pocung. Believe it or not, I sing traditional songs from all over Indonesia for her, even national songs (but not those Indonesian "alay" love songs) and I am not in the very least intimidated by those moms singing Twinkle-twinkle Little Star and Itsy Bitsy Spider. I want her to set root and grow. Learn her identity first, embrace it, and international orientation can come after. Am I wrong? Ah, well, I think when the time come, I can always ask her what she really wants to learn.
Another ramblings will come soon. heh.
Chirp chirp,
Me
#1. My English
I know that my English is not as good as it has to be for someone who aims to be a researcher. But, I am trying my best to learn through Facebook (chit chats with my fellow INFJs, friends from my previous college), webinars hold by scientific journals publishers, novels, books, etc. I really appreciate when someone told me about how bad my English was and helped me with sentence correction, idioms, and all...but, I really really hate it when someone said "your English sucks" and that was it. No support, no help, not even an encouragement. For the first, second, third, or fourth time, I felt fine and continued my English lesson. However, after some time, I just felt like "OK. Language, English in specific is not my thing. I'm just gonna give up." Now, in my FB account, I wrote that the only language I can understand is Indonesian. It seems my confidence is off for a very long vacation.
Furthermore, what is with people who grandstands in public, humiliates others by saying "your English is messed up"? No one, NO ONE has the right to do that to others. It was improper and rude. People deserve secrecy. Tell them through emails, private messages, Messenger or something. Even when I heard one hell of a messy use of language, I kept my mouth shut in public. Telling others about their weaknesses in front of the world is not the right thing to do. It will make them feel inferior and hide in a rabbit hole. I know I did and I have no intention to make others feel the way I felt.
#2. My Browser's History
Well well. I love movies and books and songs...usually, my browser would have history of IMDb, Rottentomatoes, Goodreads, blogger...but, this morning, I typed"b" and instead of showing "blogger", it said "bankdata.puskesmas"; "i" for "imdb" was replaced by "intra LI**", "m" for "mediat*****" became "mc.manuscriptcentral". What happened actually? Did I transform myself into an "education" maniac or something? freak out for some time, but when I went home, I saw my Ken Follett's were still on the top shelf accompanied by Stephen King, Jude Deveraux, James Patterson, some graphic novels, etc. So, no. I don't think I changed. My "looking-smart" browser history is just temporary.
#3. Another Thing About Language
Lately, I often met with little tiny kids who speak English very fluently. In the mall, in supermarket, playgrounds, etc. I am amazed by their ability, I really do and I admire their parents' efforts in teaching such a strange language. English is important, especially if we are talking about the international networks built using that particular language. But, I feel that there's something not quite right about this "tiny-human-speaks-English" phenomenon.
I feel my daughter is like a tree. I want her to grow with healthy long big branches stretch out everywhere and for that to happen, she needs a stable root. I want her to learn proper Javanese and Indonesian and I am thankful I have such the perfect nanny with perfect Javanese "Mboten pareng nggih", "ampun dimaem", "sanes dolanan", with songs like Gundul-gundul Pacul, Gambuh, Pocung. Believe it or not, I sing traditional songs from all over Indonesia for her, even national songs (but not those Indonesian "alay" love songs) and I am not in the very least intimidated by those moms singing Twinkle-twinkle Little Star and Itsy Bitsy Spider. I want her to set root and grow. Learn her identity first, embrace it, and international orientation can come after. Am I wrong? Ah, well, I think when the time come, I can always ask her what she really wants to learn.
Another ramblings will come soon. heh.
Chirp chirp,
Me
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
What to Do When Settlers of Catan Isn't Enough:
from Wired Top Stories
How do you sort through the clutter and find games that you will enjoy? Here are three ways to find out about great games?
from Wired Top Stories
How do you sort through the clutter and find games that you will enjoy? Here are three ways to find out about great games?
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
0 A.D. raises the game for open-source RTS:
from BetaNews
Open-source RTS games aren’t generally known for having quality graphics, even when finished, so you probably wouldn’t expect too much from an alpha build. Which is why 0 A.D. is a real surprise, thanks to visuals that are more impressive than many commercial products.
Okay, it’s true, the program has been in alpha for a very long time (running on Windows, the Mac and Linux must make for a complex development process), but the attention to detail is still impressive. Your citizens are people, not anonymous blobs. Buildings look as though like people live in them, with seating areas, pots and vases scattered around. And they live in a realistic and complex world, so for instance a desert will have sand, rocks, animals, perhaps palm trees which cast true shadows.
This continues throughout the game, too, so as you upgrade your simple homestead into a mighty citadel, or build a huge army (or navy) 0 A.D. still looks better than the cover art of some of the competition.
The program isn’t just about the graphics, though: there’s plenty of gameplay, too. You must create units of various types, collect resources, construct new buildings to expand your empire, and of course build an army to protect yourself from (and, ultimately, conquer) your enemies. This isn’t quite as intuitive as we’d like so you’ll probably need to spend some time with the online manual (which also could be better organised), but once you’ve mastered the basics then you’ll be ready to explore all the game has to offer.
The graphics aside, though, you do have to keep in mind that this is an alpha version, so problems and deficiencies are to be expected. Enemy AI can be a little on the basic side, for instance, and the program crashed a couple of times.
Still, if you’re a fan of this kind of RTS game and willing to make allowances for the occasional issue then there’s a lot of entertainment value to be found here: with more than 50 scenarios to play, and a multi-player option too, 0 A.D. could keep you busy for quite some time.
from BetaNews
Open-source RTS games aren’t generally known for having quality graphics, even when finished, so you probably wouldn’t expect too much from an alpha build. Which is why 0 A.D. is a real surprise, thanks to visuals that are more impressive than many commercial products.
Okay, it’s true, the program has been in alpha for a very long time (running on Windows, the Mac and Linux must make for a complex development process), but the attention to detail is still impressive. Your citizens are people, not anonymous blobs. Buildings look as though like people live in them, with seating areas, pots and vases scattered around. And they live in a realistic and complex world, so for instance a desert will have sand, rocks, animals, perhaps palm trees which cast true shadows.
This continues throughout the game, too, so as you upgrade your simple homestead into a mighty citadel, or build a huge army (or navy) 0 A.D. still looks better than the cover art of some of the competition.
The program isn’t just about the graphics, though: there’s plenty of gameplay, too. You must create units of various types, collect resources, construct new buildings to expand your empire, and of course build an army to protect yourself from (and, ultimately, conquer) your enemies. This isn’t quite as intuitive as we’d like so you’ll probably need to spend some time with the online manual (which also could be better organised), but once you’ve mastered the basics then you’ll be ready to explore all the game has to offer.
The graphics aside, though, you do have to keep in mind that this is an alpha version, so problems and deficiencies are to be expected. Enemy AI can be a little on the basic side, for instance, and the program crashed a couple of times.
Still, if you’re a fan of this kind of RTS game and willing to make allowances for the occasional issue then there’s a lot of entertainment value to be found here: with more than 50 scenarios to play, and a multi-player option too, 0 A.D. could keep you busy for quite some time.
Monday, 22 October 2012
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Judges on Sunday named Brianna Acostathe new Miss Hawaii USA.
Acosta describes herself in her Twitter profile as “a nerdy coconut girl in a high fashion world; independent, intellectual young woman destined and determined to conquer the world!”
She will represent Hawaii at the 2013 Miss USA pageant.
The Miss USA pageant is owned by Donald Trump and NBC Universal. Winner of the national pageant represents the United States at the Miss Universe competition.
If Acosta is crowned Miss USA, she will become the fifth Miss Hawaii USA titleholder to win the national pageant.
The first four were Miss Hawaii USA 1962 Macel Wilson, Miss Hawaii USA 1972 Tanya Wilson, Miss Hawaii USA 1978 Judi Andersen and Miss Hawaii USA 1997 Brook Lee.
Lee was crowned Miss Universe 1997 and Andersen was first runner-up for Miss Universe 1978.
Another state titleholder, Miss Hawaii USA 1981 Teri Ann Lynn, gained recognition for portraying Kristen Forrester Dominguez on the TV soap, “The Bold and the Beautiful.”
Lynn also knew future President Barack Obama at an early age. They were classmates at Punahou School in Honolulu.
Dates and locations for the 2013 Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants will be announced later. The final evenings of competition in both pageants will be broadcast live on NBC.
Nikolina Bojić, who was crowned Miss Serbia 2012 on October 6, 2012, resigned from her title yesterday. According to her resignation letter to Miss Yu Company, organizers of the contest, she does not meet the requirements and would not be able to fulfill the duties of Miss Serbia and she therefore willfully abdicate to the title.
However, the organizers did not mention the claims about her being married. They have an obligation with the Miss World Organization and have certain rules to follow, Miss Yu company explained.
Currently, the company is holding series of meetings with the runner-ups,Alexandra Doknic and Ana Vrcelj, and the top 10 finalists to decide who is the most suitable for the Miss Serbia title.
According to the organizers, by rule, the crown should go to the runners-up. However, quite a few factors must be taken into account such as work, university, family, etc.
The new Miss Serbia 2012 will be announced during a live TV press conference on Sunday, October 21st. Whoever she is, she will represent the country in the Miss World 2013 beauty contest which is scheduled to take place in Indonesia.
Nikolina Bojić was crowned Miss Srbije 2012 or Miss Serbia 2012 at the TV Pink Studios in Šimanovci on October 7, 2012. Nikolina from Kulais is 25 years old and stands 1.75m. Her hair color is Blonde. Nikolina is studying at the FISAF Serbia Fitness Academy for fitness. Her hobbies are playing tennis and cooking. She speaks English very well.
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Crowning Moment Photos of Miss Vietnam 2012 Dang Thu Thao. She was crowned on August 25 in Da Nang. Thu Thao is 21 years old and stands 1.73 m. She is currently a student of Tay Do University, majoring in Finance and Banking. It is unclear she will represent Vietnam in any International Beauty Pageant. Elite Vietnam is the license holder of International Beauty Pageants in Vietnam. They will select the candidate and submit to the Ministry of Culture and Communication for approval. Dang Ngoc Han, Miss Vietnam 2010, did not represent Vietnam in any International Beauty Pageant while her runners-up did.
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